deviantArt Poop: Cause where there's plz accounts, they LL back.

This section is where I tell Zelda type jokes. If you have a Zelda related joke, plz post them in tyhe comment box and I'll post them in this entry.

Ocarina of Time I Believes:
I believe......that you should be able to use bombs when fishing at Lake Hylia.
I believe.....that Mr. Ingo sucks at horse racing.
I believe.....that the KoKiri need to grow up. XD
I belive......that the Kakariko Village neds to sanatize its well water.
I believe......that little kids shouldnt be allowed to play in the graveyard.
I believe...................that by now, Zelda owes Link more than just a kiss. >X)

I was at the Hylian Pub last night and had one-too-many red potions and I passes out. I woke up in my own bed with a Gerudo shirt and veil and HEY WAIT A SECOND!....WHERE'S MY ADULT WALLET?!?!?!?!

You Might Be A Zelda Fan If?
(by Hyrule-man Foxworthy)
- When you look in the mirror, you could swear there was a blonde, blue eyed Hylian boy staring back at you.
- You begin to think your Science teacher is Ganondorf and decide to take a few days off from school to fin the Master Sword and Six Sages' Medallions to defeat him/her with.
- Your butt has been numb for the past week and a half.
- You forget all about food, sleep, and school and begin to focus on sharpening your fishing, training your horse, and shooting your fairy bow.
- You learn that the curency in Djibouti (in Africa) is Rupees while your in the library and start to freak out.(also currency of India)
- Your hands are taking on the shape of your controller.
- You deem all red heads Gerudo's and try to stun them using a pencil as a Hookshot.
- Your to do list has down "Find Epona, Save Princess Zelda, Don't forget dinner!"
- You dive in the ocean when you see a whale and try to go in it's mouth to save Princess Ruto.
- You keep an eye out for Gold Skulltula.
- You brag about how you defeated Queen Gohma without getting a scratch.
- You finally step out of your room and realize your hungry, you smell, your tired and you have no more friends left.
- You've actually done one or two of the things on this list.
- When you get in trouble and go to the principal, you yell at him/her, "You can never defeat ME, Ganondorf!"
- You always wear green and you dyed your hair bleach blonde.
- You thought your sibling was a Moblin and that's why they are tied up in the basement now with a threat of a sharpened pencil.
- You demand the Triforce Of Power from that red-headed boy in your grade.
- You put a glass to your eye and try to walk through walls thinking, "The Lens Of Truth knows the way!"(Here's your sign.)
-You talk to your rock collection asking about the Goron's Ruby and Durania.
- You talk to your goldfish asking about the Zora's Sapphire and Ruto.
-. You go to Seaworld and ask to swim in the whale's tank to find Ruto.
-You get a guineapig and name it Shiek. [I thought the name was cute!]
-You've gone through a hundred or more controllers and Z64 games.
-You spend all of your time online finding out were you can buy the Ocarina of Time.
-When you finally finish playing Zelda and come out of your room to find out that all your firends have died of old age.
-When you find out that you're really a Hylian in Z64 you go to Lon Lon Ranch and spend two hours or more jumping the two jumps in the paddock area.
-You refer to Link's father as your real father.
-You tell your brother who's expecting a baby girl to name her Zelda.
-When the school fire alarm goes off the first thing you do is try to save your friend's Link action figure saying."I won't let Hyrule's hero die.
-You wonder how old Impa really is.
-When fighting Gannondorf you pretend your playing baseball with your dad.
-When playing baseball with your dad you shout " Give up now Gannondof or I'll slay you with the master sword.
-When you are about to deliver the final blow to Gannon you pause the game and decide what color tunic you'll look best in to beat the game.
-Your friends tell you you need help.
-You draw millions of triforces and under each write, where did Nintendo hide that dang triforce.
-When you shove a blowdryer into you're dad's back, saying "Put your hands in the air and gimme the Triforce!"
-You ask your red-headed friend what it feels like to be a Gerudo.
-You're constantly humming 'Zelda's Lullaby'.
-You've already picked out the cast for a Zelda movie.
-You have your ears surgically lengthened and pointed.
-You change your name to Link (if you're a boy), or Zelda (If you're a girl.)
You and your friend do nothing but play Z64!
-You've become addicted to the internet, and only go on Zelda sites.
-The margins of your homework is covered with Triforces.
-You have a horse named Epona.
-you jump off buildings while holding chickens expecting to float down safely
-you try the above and are surprised when you wake up in hospital
-In History class, you find yourself searching a map for the land of Hyrule.
-You have an uncontrollable urge to beat the crap out of everyone who badmouths the Legend of Zelda.
-You argue that Peter Pan and Robin Hood are Hero-of-Time wannabes.
-You lie awake at night trying to place the Legend of Zelda adventures into chronological order.
-You hate the kid nextdoor who looks like Ganon.
-You get a game over, cry for Link and have a private funeral and PERSONALLY don’t invite the kid next door who looks like Ganon
-If you see a new zelda game you reserve it 20 times not trusting the store.
-You forget that you have a name.
-You forget your friends name and phone number
-You forget you have friends.
-You forget to breathe.
-You don't think any of this stuff is crazy.
-When you log on-line you hear the computer say "You have 13,362 new messages, and every one of them asks "What the heck have you been doing all this time?""
-You get drunk and see a fariy above you and name it Navi.
-You see a red boat and start talking to it.
-The red boat talks back
-You are reading this list to see if you really are a Zelda fan.
-You get a concussion from running into trees, expecting Skulltulas to fall out.
-In hospital, (because of your concussion) you tell the doctors that all you need is a bottled fairy.
-You draw a triforce on your hand
-You draw Zelda and Link kissing on your tests
-You think you are the Hero of Time
-You freak out when it starts to rain right after you play the Song of Storms on your flute.
-You start to have nightmares about a drawbridge lowering...a white horse racing by... a man on a black horse shooting lightning balls at you...
-You try to make baby chicks turn into chickens by wearing a bird mask and start marching.
-you call the kids at the park kokiri and ask them for directions to the great deku tree
-you're still reading this list.
-There is a large butt-groove on the sofa.
-you are reading this list while holding the Master Sword.

Zelda Song spoof "Bonafied Hylian"
(Bonafied American-Larry the Cable Guy CD album "Lord, I apologise")
"If you're looking for a Hylian, one that'll git-r-done."
"Like savin' the land of Hyrule, when the day is done."
"I like stickin' it to 'ol Ganon, on that you can rely,"
"I'm a bonafied Hylian, I'm Link the hero guy."

Link:I was just about to go slay Ganondorf when Zelda stopped me at the drawbridge. She says "Are you gonna kill Ganon with the Master Sword?" I says "No princess, I'm gonna use my mirror shield to show him how UGLY he is."
Link:"Goddess Din, I apologise for that."

"If you're looking for a Hylian, one that'll git-r-done."
"Likes hangin' out with Gorons and Zoras just for fun."
"I like swiggin' down blue potions, on that you can rely,"
"I'm a bonafied Hylian, I'm Link the hero guy."

Link:"I was at the Lon Lon Ranch the other day playin' with Malon's cuccos with my Master Sword, and she came out hollern' an screamn' "Are you hurtn' my cuccos?" Isaid "No Malon, I'ma givin' 'em agility lessons." "Haha Goddess Din, I apologise for that."

"If you're looking for a Hylian, one that'll git-r-done."
"A blue-collar workin' elven, and let me tell you son."
"My name is Link the hero guy, the triforce never lies,"
"And if this song offends you, then Din, I apologise."

Kid Link(in Kokiri school): Teacher Deku Tree, I dont have my homework.
Deku Tree: What happened to it?
Kid Link: My dodongo ate it.

Hylian 1: I have a dog with no nose.
Hylain 2: How does he smell?
Hylain 1: Awful.

Zelda Top 10s:

Top 10 Reasons Link played an Ocarina:
10: He liked the sound it made.
9: He joined the Temple of Time chior.
8: It annoyed Navi when he played off-key. XDDD
7: Because horses respond better to high pitched sounds.
6: It caused abnormal growth in frogs(which Link thought was cool).
5: Because Nintendo paid him 1 million rupees.
4: Because chicks dig flute players who march in step.
3: He only had to learn a few notes.
2: He wanted to travel through time just to break the Kakariko Village windmill.
And the #1 Reason:
There wasnt any more room for his Guitar Hero and Rock Band set.

Top 10 Reasons Ganondorf was so evil.
10: He wanted to say all the cool lines.
9: He liked doing the "MuWahahahaha" villian laugh.
8: His mom wouldnt let him take over the neighborhood.
7: Because the Gerundo teased him when he was a kid, and now he has issues.
6: He flunked ethical conduct classes in Gerundo school.
5: Too much Hardcore Hyrule Rock music.
4: Too much violence on Hyrule TV.
3: He thought "Ganonland" was a better name for the kingdom than Hyrule.
2: As a kid he was force-fed all the vegetables on his dinner plate.
And the #1 Reason:
Because a Hylian TP-ed his yard and put a flaming bag of dog poop on his front porch and he(Ganondorf) vowed revenge.

Top 10 reasons Link rode a horse.
10: He tried riding cuccos, but kept on squishing them. (laughs out loud)
9: He tried riding the Owl from Death Mountain, but it kept on taking him to Impa's house.
8: He tried riding Princess Ruto( ) but we all know fish cant swim on land.
7: He did a paper route on the side.
6: He delivered Hylian Pizza in 10 minutes or less.
5: Because manly men rode horses.
4: Because it sure beat walking everywhere.
3: He wanted to beat the strange man with the bunny ears in a race.
2: He got a great deal on horse shoes at the Lon Lon Ranch.
And the #1 reason:
He save a bunch of rupees on his car insurance.

Top 10 things Tingle could have said when he first met Link in Majora's Mask.
10: Yo elf dude, wazzzzzup!
9: OMGOMGOMG! It's Link! Oh Link, Im your biggest fan!
8: Oompa-Loompa Doop-a-dee-dah.
7: Finnished with my woman cause she couldnt help me with my mind.(lyrics from Paranoid-Black Sabbath)
6: Im the president of the Link Club of Termina.
5: (sings to YMCA)M-A-P-S. I have some M-A-P-S.
4: First map's free kid.
3: If I only had a brain.(scarecrow from Wizard of Oz)
2: Beam me up Scottie.
And #1:
(sings) Wild Thing. You make my heart sing. You make everything.....groovy.(ROFL)

The Top 10 evil things Ganondorf did to Hyrule while Link slept for 7 years:

10: He made most Hylians vote themselves out of Hyrule on a reality show.
9: He rigged the Hyrulian elections by making Hylians count "chad" votes.
8: He stole candy from ALL Hylian babies. XDD
7: He gave all the Hylian school kids noogies, wedgies, took thier lunch money, and then hoisted them up the school's flag poll by their underwear. LLLOL XD(that was hilariously evil.)
6: He brought Jerry Springer's talk show to Hyrule.
5: He grounded all Hylians for life, and then sent them to their rooms with No TV, cell phones, videogames, or internet access.(That was UNFORGIVABLY evil.)
4: He magically turned all the cool Guitar Hero songs into "oldies" sang by Alvin and the Chipmunks. XDDD
3: He made Hylians wear Spongebob clothes.(that was especially evil. XD)
2: He tortured Hylians by making them play the Virtual Boy until their eyes were burned out of their sockets.

And the Number 1 evil thing that Ganondorf did to Hyrule while Link slept for 7 years:
1: He made ALL of Hyrule play CD-i Zelda games and watch Barney the Purple Dinosaur 24/7.(The creulest of ALL fates. )

I once met a hylian who was so old, he sat behind Din in the third grade!

End of Poop